Sunday, December 7, 2014

rainy days.

A storm rolled in early this morning.  A cold relentless downpour, followed by ten minutes of calm, then a light drizzle that hasn't stopped. Seems kind of synonymous with how life has been in the last month.

This week Staci and I are finally settled into the house that we will be staying in. Take a visual trip with me. ^_^ You walk through a gate, unlock the door to a cement hallway. To the left there are doors that enter the sanctuary. The hallway is about 50 yards or so. If you go straight, you turn the corner to a patio, with nothing overhead. Bathrooms to the right. If you turn left after the hallway there is a staircase. Our room is half way up to the right. Keep climbing the stairs and you reach a huge room with tables and chairs set up like divided classrooms. Off to the left is our kitchen. And across from the kitchen there are more stairs that lead you to the roof, where there is another patio, a guest house, and a two bedroom house of the pastor and his family. It's a blessing. Cockroaches and all. ;)

The last month has kind of caught up with me now that we're settled; concluding in a lot of tears and wondering what God is up to.  It's a conglomeration of everything: the trauma of having to leave the organization I was with, the struggle of culture shock, homesickness in the holiday season, worrying about money coming through, and just trying to trust God through it all.

We were talking the other day about how we have started expecting for things to go wrong. Like, how God has been faithful to take care of our needs, but if it's not absolutely necessary, it has not been consistent. We didn't have running water this last week. We toted up water in buckets to the kitchen to clean and cook. Taking cold make shift baths. No one has air conditioning here. It's alright at night, but with the tin roofs, our bedroom becomes an oven. We keep the windows open at night for the breeze, but it lets in the bugs. Haha this morning I kept waking up to the buzz of a mosquito in my hear and started dreaming of being covered from head to toe in bites. Of course, wifi is a luxury when it's working. I know it's not a need of mine, but it's hard to feel so disconnected, especially when it's already hard enough to feel connected with people here being non-fluent in the language.

All this to say. God has definitely been showing me that He is all I need, which led me to listen to Nothing Without You, by Bebo Norman on repeat.

"All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without You."

It's crazy that you can give up all you have to serve in another country, just to be taught more about God and needing Him than you could ever teach anyone else. It's humbling. And of course makes me question my usefulness. But as I was reminded before coming here: God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called.

Thank you for all your prayers. And for listening to my semi-sad processings. I wrote a poem about how rainy days are just as beautiful as starry nights =) I'll share it on another day.


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